


Where did it go wrong?

by SpecialWings



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:38:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpecialWings/pseuds/SpecialWings
Summary: Seungkwan kept asking himself where did it go wrong.Perhaps Hansol had the answer.





	Where did it go wrong?

He kept wondering where it went wrong.

They have known each other for a long time. They have been friends since middle school. They were best friends before they decided to cross the line and became lovers. They were each other’s first: first date, first kiss, first love and many other firsts.  They had been together since senior high school, when he was on his second year and Hansol was on first year. They were the same age but because Seungkwan born early he was on one year higher. This year they were supposed to celebrate their fourth year anniversary. Yes, supposed to. He did not even know where his lover at the moment.

Seungkwan let out a sigh. He had been waiting for almost two hours already. There was no sign that Hansol would come. Did he forget again about their appointment? He did not even reply his message. Seungkwan bit his bottom lip in worry. He felt down and sad.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound from his stomach which tried to let him know that he needed food. He let out another sigh and called the waiter. He decided to just eat without Hansol. Hopefully the food would brighten his mood. Delicious food and great wine never betrayed him.

The gift box remained untouched inside his pocket.

* * *

After dinner, Seungkwan found himself walked aimlessly. The cool wind of the night did not bother him at all. He just enjoyed the night, but his steps were stopped when he saw something, no, someone he knew dearly. There, 3 meters from him he just saw his supposed lover went out from a pub. He was with his friends, college friends, Seungkwan guessed. The majority were girls and they clinged to his lover and he could see Hansol flirt back. Hansol grinned at the girls. Then Hansol kissed one of the girls on the cheek which made her giggling. The girl then made a bold move and pulled Hansol to kiss him on the lips. They started making out while the other friends just laughed, teased them, and decided to leave them.

Seungkwan froze. His lover just made out in front of him. His eyes got teary. He knew it. He could feel it deep inside. He knew something was wrong and it was not his mind playing with him. Since college started Hansol started to get busier and Seungkwan could feel Hansol distancing himself from him slowly. Hansol started to not have time for him. He kept missing their dates. He had his suspicions when he read some messages that were too friendly and flirty to be only from friend who wanted study together.

Seungkwan had enough. He blinked his eyes tried to get rid of the tears that had not fallen yet. He wiped those who had fallen and then cleared his throat. He took a few steps and opened his mouth, gathering all his will to make his voice not shaky.

“Hansol-ah,” he called loudly, gaining the attention he wanted. The pair stopped kissing and looked at the owner of the voice. There was a flicker of surprise in Hansol’s eyes. Seungkwan stared at his lover’s eyes, trying to convey his feelings.

“Seungkwan-ie...,” Then they fell silent. No one spoke. Seungkwan did not want to break down in public and make a fuss while Hansol perhaps just in shock.

The girl was the one who broke the silence.

“Vernoni-ie~ Who is he? Do you know him?” asked her glancing at both Seungkwan and Vernon which succesfully broke Hansol from his shock.

Seungkwan glared at the girl and decided to answer her. “I am his –“ but he was cut off by his own lover.

“He is my friend and roommate, nuna. I forgot that I asked him to pick me up, I forgot that I promised him to accompany him tonight,” Hansol lied to her. So he finally did remember the dinner he promised to Seungkwan, huh? “I am sorry, Nuna. It seems I have to go now. My roommate is here for me. Let’s have fun on the other day, okay?” Hansol smiled apologetically. The girl pouted cleary dissapointed. However, she nodded then said her goodbye but not before pecked him on his lips one more time.

“Let’s go home,” Hansol said and walked in front of Seungkwan, leading the way. They walked in silence. When there was silence between him and Hansol it used to be comfortable and he used to love him.  Seungkwan was usually loud, he usually kept chattering to fill the silence. But not tonight, he was tired. He did not break the silence even though he hated the silence right now. He knew that when he opened his mouth the dam would break.

The 25-minute-walk felt longer than it was. On the way back, Seungkwan kept asking himself where it went wrong. When they reached their shared apartment and closed the door Seungkwan finally opened his mouth.

“So, I am just your roommate, now?” asked Seungkwan shakily. His eyes already got teary. His view started to get blurry. There was no answer. Hansol just kept walking to their living room.

“Chwe Vernon Hansol, answer me.” Seungkwan raised his voice.

“We are indeed roommate,” was the reply.

Seungkwan scoffed. But he decided to not pursue the question and asked another one.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” Hansol asked back, “what happened with what exactly?”

“With you. With that girl. With us. With our relationship. What exactly happened? Where did it go wrong?” Seungkwan finally questioned his question of the day. Perhaps Hansol knew the answer that he did not know.

Hansol seemed to think for a moment.

“Life happened.” He answered. There was no his usual comforting smile. “As time goes by and I got into college. I think this relationship is just a phase for me. Now when I get out and see the world I found many attractive girls. I think I am more interested in girls.”

Seungkwan could not believe what he heard.

“Phase?! You said.  Four years. We have been lovers for four years. And what? You called it a phase,” Seungkwan scoffed. He got really upset. “Four years and you called it a phase. What are you talking about? Four years and suddenly you liked girls.”

Hansol shrugged. “A phase can be a few months or a few years. The period doesn’t really matter. Like I said, I get to see the world. Before my life was just about you and school.”

“Is it because the society? You want to seem cool, popular, and all those things that society demanded. And you think having boyfriend will ruin your reputation? Our relationships is a phase, you said. So your love to me isn’t even real, huh?” Seungkwan shouted and cried at the same time. It hurted. He did not really want to hear the answer to the last question.

Hansol did not immediately answer, but his answer still shattered Seungkwan’s heart to pieces.

“Perhaps I did love you but perhaps it was because I fell in love with the idea of love itself and there was you who always there for me. We are really close and you say you love me. We are friends and I have no one else that close to me like you. So perhaps I fell in love with the idea that I can love someone and be loved back with you. Perhaps I didn’t know any better and think that my love for a friend or a brother is a love of lovers.“ He stared at Seungkwan. Not his usual stare that filled with fondness to Seungkwan.

 “Do you even remember what today is?” Seungkwan waited for a few moments, no answer. Chwe fucking Hansol.

“It’s our fucking anniversary asshole.” Seungkwan spat out, reached out for the gift box inside of his pocket and threw it to Hansol’s face. “Why did you tell me now? Four years, asshole. Why didn’t you say it and have a clean break up instead of cheating behind me?”

“I guess I still care for your feelings as a friend.” Seungkwan eyes widened. He could not believe what the other boy said. “I knew your reaction will be like this and with how much you love me if I said break up with me you will feel really depressed. I don’t have the heart to break it to you.”

“And how exactly cheating is better?” Hansol shrugged. Seungkwan let out another scoff. “You don’t have the courage to break up with me but have the courage to cheat behind me and then lied. You are ridiculous. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you.” Seungkwan face was already wet with tears. All of his emotions were bubbling inside. He felt suffocated. He hiccupped. No he could not become a sobbing mess yet. He still needed to say a few things and did a few things.

“So here I am becoming a man and say it to you because you don’t have the courage. I have enough. Let’s break up and not meet each other again. Not even as friend. And something’s wrong with your way of thinking, Chwe!” Seungkwan then walked closer to Hansol.

“And this for my pain.” He punched him on the stomach, hard, making Hansol fell down. “I think it’s not even half of it. You broke me Hansol. I don’t even know whether I will fall in love again or not. This heartbreak is already enough for a lifetime.” He then walked pass Hansol to his room. Few minutes later, Seungkwan went out and Hansol still on the floor clenching his stomach.

“I’m out from here. Goodbye. I hope you live happily.”Seungkwan went out from their shared apartment, no, Vernon’s apartment, bringing only his important belongings and some clothes. He did not know where he would go, he just needed to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys, this is my first Seventeen fics. Actually I still don't know whether this will be oneshot or I will continue this. I am sorry for grammar mistakes and stuff cause I am not native.  
> Please be kind to me and share your opinion after reading this. Thank you so much for reading.


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